What if you did the exact opposite of everything you do right now? How would your life change? Would it change? What would the results be? You already know the answer. Nothing would look the same.
This doesn’t mean the opposite is always better. Sometimes you will even try the opposite and realize the old way was the better one. All of that is normal. The positive? You will still pick something new about yourself that carries over to everything else you do. The real problem? What happens if you have been repeating the same behavior and doing the same things for years without ever paying attention to it? There is a good chance it is time to start doing the opposite.
Your life on autopilot
Why should YOU question your defaults: Chances are that everything you do right now is part of your routine. You are not even thinking about it. It is part of your life. It is who you have been since the start. Those are your defaults. We all have them. And we all fall victim to our routines. The defaults are just the path of least resistance that somehow gets us results we want. All of them come from decades of doing things your way and repeating whatever got installed in you year after year.
You might be asking yourself… What is the problem? Aren’t routines the way to get the most out of the day? Removing unnecessary cognitive load by making automatic choices? Maybe. If you truly want to live life with the least resistance. What it doesn’t take into consideration is that it leads to a boring and predictable life. One that is not for everyone.
The bigger problem? It leads you to always repeat the same thing over and over again. What do we mean by that? Imagine a scenario where you want to get better at something. But you keep doing the same thing. Over and over again… It should not be hard to see where the problem is coming from. Take it a step further and understand that most people have their defaults set up wrong. That is also why they have been stuck in the same spot for years.
How predictable are you: Time to be honest with yourself. How predictable are you? Do you already know what you will be doing this weekend? Do you order the same thing every time when going out with your colleagues for lunch? Always having the same excuse for why you have not started something you have been promising yourself for months? All of those sound simple. But what happens when you have to answer all of them? That is when you get the feeling that what you have been doing for years might not be right for you.
Completely offloading your life to comfort and familiarity (your defaults). And if you have been reading our website, you already know what never comes out of those two. Progress.
So what happens if you are not happy with your life? Your job? Your environment? And you still stick to the same routine. Doing it over and over again… It doesn’t take genius. Deep down you already know the answer. You start to see how much of your life has been offloaded to familiarity and comfort. What happens when you keep doing the same thing over and over again? You keep getting the same out of your life. Maybe that is what you want… Maybe you already live your dream. Maybe you already have everything you ever wanted for yourself. That is great. But what if that is not the case? What if you are NOT happy with your life, job, environment, or where things are going? Yet you are stuck in the same spot, repeating the same behavior. It should be obvious where the problem is. If you never test your defaults, you never find out if they are actually right for you. That is why you do the opposite. Not because it is automatically better… Because that is the only real way to test it.
Rules of doing the opposite - baseline for everything else
What would I normally choose without even thinking about it?
Any time you are given two choices, a decision you have to make or anything that affects you. You have to ask yourself which one would I pick without even thinking? There is a good chance that is your default. It doesn’t automatically mean you choose the harder option. Don’t make your life unnecessarily difficult for no reason. That should never be your goal. It is something you should actively avoid. Everyone knows that simplification is the highest form of intelligence.
But when you catch yourself taking the easier path with the least resistance or the most familiar path just because it requires the least effort… That is the sign. One that means you have to start asking yourself, what would happen if I did the opposite? Start from ordering something you never had in your favorite restaurants to going somewhere you have never been. Start small. All those small acts are a perfect way to stop letting the autopilot run your life.
Habit of questioning your defaults
So what separates the people who actually get something out of doing the opposite from those who don’t? It mostly comes down to this. One starts with small things and builds momentum. The other flips everything at once (opposite of their defaults) and wonders why they can’t keep up. Simple answer? Intensity. Breaking out of your defaults and comfort zone is not easy. You are basically reprogramming everything you know about yourself. Why make it harder by doing it all at once? The specific thing you change doesn’t really matter that much. What matters is that you are building the habit of questioning things. To the point where you realize that doing something differently won’t kill you. That pushes you to test your defaults more and more… Until you create enough momentum to go after the bigger things.
Honesty and being honest with yourself
Step one: Being honest with yourself. Much more so if you want to find yourself in a position that is different from the one you were in yesterday.
Step two: You have to let go of the ego and your old limiting beliefs.
Be honest about why you are not doing something. It is a requirement for everything else after in this read. That is the only way you will change your defaults and how things work… If you are willing to accept the truth. No matter how uncomfortable it might be.
Take full ownership of everything
Good choices, bad choices… It doesn’t matter. All those defaults and routines you find yourself in? It is on you to take full ownership of it. Why? Because the only way to change the situation you are in is to accept where you are and who you actually are. That does not mean everything that has happened to you was your fault. It was not. But what you do about it is… Your defaults. Your choices. The things you tolerate. The things you keep repeating. Own all of it. When you start testing the things? Own the results as well. The opposite works? Keep it. It doesn’t? Good, now you know. You learned something. Maybe the default was better? Go back to it. The key to making it work is to stop handing off responsibility and actually own what happens to you next.
Doing the opposite (practical examples everyone can relate to)
If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old - Peter Drucker
Lifestyle
Falling victim to the routine (living the same over and over)
→ You need 1 to 2 side quests. That is what changes everything. Sports, doing something for the first time, or purposely putting yourself around new stuff (PPE protocol - people, places, environments).
What you are avoiding: Feeling uncomfortable for the first week or two until you get used to it. This is where it becomes important to remind yourself that nothing worth having comes easy.